If I'm not depressed... I am sick

As you may know, I battle depression. Which makes it hard to do... anything. Ever since taking my medication, I have luckily been able to find more energy to do things that I love than I have in years.

On that note, I have also been on and off sick since starting my medication. I honestly don't know if there is a correlation but I need to make a doctor's appointment to find out.

This makes it incredibly frustrating because where once I simply did not have the drive... I now have the motivation and passion coming to me easier. There's nothing like being motivated only to be hindered.

Luckily, I have been able to channel it mostly into writing which still allows me to rest and push out content. Even so, sometimes I will be nauseated or incredibly fatigued seemingly out of nowhere making it hard for me to do anything but sleep. Which is what I did when depressed!

I am frustrated because I hate making excuses. At least with depression I just felt like a sorry blob that had no potential and couldn't do anything anyways. With my sickness, I feel like I am being held back. Well I suppose technically both are sicknesses that held me back. But what I am trying to say is though the result is the same, the feelings surrounding each situation feels worlds different.

I am just so tired of something being wrong with me. I was so excited that my medication helped in the way that it did. While I don't feel cured from depression, being able to get even a modicum of my energy back has helped wonders. Being able to do things then acted like a medicine on it's own.

So I will try my best to remember to make a doctors appointment (different mental health issues make it hard for me to do adult things like make appointments, WHY AM I LIKE THIS?). I truly hope that it isn't my medication. While that would be an easy fix to my physical illness. It will be a terrible loss for my mental illness.

So here's to hoping it isn't my medication as well as not being anything serious. Although this has been happening off/on since March.