Just Enough (a piece on bullying)
It has been a long standing issue for me and my journey into the geekdom; bullies. I remember having to seek out specific groups for my interest needs. I was suspended between being a pretty girl who knew all the popular folk, and being a geek hiding away with all the other geeks. As my group of super hot girlfriends started to party and bloom into incredibly enticing and charismatic butterflies; I failed incredibly hard in that aspect. I wanted to play D&D, Diablo III, World of Warcraft, Pokemon. And as someone who was privy to both the popular and the not-so-popular crowds, I knew exactly the kind of bullying that went on. I knew too many nerds that sat through class with their heads down as if the entire time they were thinking "I am invisible. Please, please let me be invisible". The abuse they faced was just enough to make them feel like nothing. Coincidentally, it was not the super popular kids who bullied the geeks and nerds. I think the crowd that was continuously labeled as "slut" and had the most vicious rumors spread about them held a sort of understanding for the geeks. As if they were two sides of the same coin. No, it was those in the middle. Those who were in between, like me. They were the most vicious bullies, being neither popular or unpopular, they were the ones stomping on geeks and spreading the rumors about the popular. As if trying to claw their way upwards by tearing everyone around them down. And it was just enough.
But the biggest problem lay elsewhere. The problem was that nobody did anything about it. People ate up gossip and people shunned the rejects. It was just the way it was. Nobody defended anybody and nobody said anything. Although the majority of the students were just wading through Highschool, there was just enough bullying going on to create the age old divide between the "In" and the "Out". It was just enough.
As I first started my hobby as a book reviewer and Lady Kaylah of the Geekdom, it was so easy. People would find their niche communities and revel in their similar interests. But that quickly turned south as the internet blew up and the geekdom exploded into popularity. Now, everyone could embrace their love for the geekdom, and it was not shunned. Instead of reveling in the fact that we could all share common interests. The divide between the "In" and "Out" remained. And here on the internet... well. Revenge was all too easy to get away with. My comments started to get flooded with hate. My looks were challenged as proof that I wasn't always a geek. My analysis videos were torn to pieces by everyone who thought opinion meant fact. And although I got more likes that dislikes, the comments were just enough. I missed my community where everyone could discuss and debate and have a dialectic even about our favorite fandoms. So I left my Youtube and for a while just became a hermit at home with my fantasy novels and my college dreams of teaching Anglo Saxon-Renaissance literature. Because it was just enough.
You see, saying things such as; "Well it's not the MAJORITY" whether it be well meaning or dismissive is not the issue. The issue is that just enough bullying and toxic behavior is allowed to cause damage. All it takes is a single cloud to dull a shiny day. Allowing abuse to exist in any way for any reason is just enough to cause harm. Passivity causes harm. Because all it takes is just enough.
